The day after: The Cycle Goes On

Tammy called today. To say that Pops was finally resting in peace. Not so sure about that, but she sounded chill. Glad she’s not bitter any more. Told her what Will told me when he left for the quarantine zone. To follow bliss. *facepalm*

You gotta stop parroting, gurl.

Wonder if Will was following his bliss with Aiko? Or was that his baby all along?

Aarghhh!! #ResetDevice

When the Chief Administrator saw me breakdown, he came back to life. He really is his own Ze & Hir. He got me this, donno what it’s called – I’ll have to jfgi. But it’s a triangle that stands. With a long rectangular base. He put it on my desk on his way out. Got a mug with hot water from the pantry. Asked for one of his green tea-bags, told me to powder my nose and bring in my clicker.

The thing he put on my desk, all black, has lettering carved on it in gold.

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die

When I went in and asked what he meant by my clicker, he said with a gentle smile – your iPad, Miss Paige.

It’s nearly a quarter to 10. And I’m still here. He keeps dictating, asking for prints, and doing it all over again. I don’t know how much longer this will go on, but I’m glad. When he saw me smile as I was explaining how my clicker works, he looked deep into my eyes and said – Work is worship, is it not?

Miss you pops.

Be well, Will. You will always exist in my song.

7 days ago: I'd Like To Thank The Platform

I surprised my Silly Billy with Penne a la Arrabiata last night. I guess the wine I’d served got him all chatty, but at least he makes sense now. Yesterday’s WILLTalk was on Cultural lag―the gap between our cultural values & practices and our tech. When he told me that we’d figured out how to edit genes and clone people as far back as 1998, I was like *yawn* whatevs.

But then he made it real. Like, really real. It would be like coding and designing a person, he said, like we do for our online avatars, and then 3D printing them organically.

And I was like Whoa...

It was hard to keep up with Will over dinner, but now that I’ve looked it all up from the recording (I’ve begun recording our conversations and looking stuff up afterwards), it’s really got me trippin.

Why are we so afraid of change?

Mutation is actually how evolution happens in the first place. And you gotta give it to the Dalai Lama. He’s still the only leader of a world religion who’s totes #ForTransHumanism.

And then Billy went off on religion. (Blew his load, is more like it) How religion is nothing but society’s gamification of its morality. AND mortality. Getting to Heaven is like getting the top score?

Ixxthus!!

I’m probably going to rot in hell just for blogging this. Billy ended it all on a nice note, tho. #DanteWasWrong #FrancisOfAssisiLives

Maybe I should write to Caleb about all this, he’ll be able to relate. All he used to do was play DotA. Or was it Age of Empires? Or was it GTA? Dayumnnn… Rep++ yo. I think it’s all coming together in my head now.

Anyhoo, too bad I can’t tell him about the counsellor and the baby she’s popping out of thin air. Stupid Big-Chief-Do-Nothing and his blonde gag order. Something this cray and less than 20 of us know. 

13 days ago: The Counsellor Is Back, Hallelujah!

I was hoping to take off early yesterday to doll up for the upcoming day of rest, which is today btw, when the report of the attack on the bus came in. Obviously there was no way to get out of the cluster-fuck the administrative office turned into.

The Chief Administrator stayed over. As did No. 2 and William. And even though there was nothing any of us little people could do, we all stayed put until No. 2 went from desk to desk telling us to go get some rest.

As I was passing by the security section to get the Chief Administrator a snack, I noticed their Chief totes off-the-hook. There were maps with pins on the wall, wireless reports coming in, a full-scale search and rescue operation raging.

The peacekeepers had it the worst I guess. And those two, the ones who were on the bus with the kids, I really hope Rambo lets them out of the stockade now.

And Chief Big-talk... From the report he just had me tap out to Rolfe, he made it sound like he Liam Neesoned her back with his very particular set of skills... Ugh!

I hope they let Will go soon.

15 days ago: Hashtag Earthling

So the 22nd class of Diablo graduated today as full citizens. And it was dope!

And it's not like this was the first one I had been to either. I still remember lil Caleb standing there and taking his pledge.

I guess life was harder for Caleb than it was for me or Tammy because he didn't even get to know mum. Now that I think about it, her loss was his first apocalypse. I should probably check in on him after I'm done keying this in.

After the graduation, on our way out, the Chief Administrator asked me to send some fine chocolates to the Head Counsellor. He may sick-burn those he's unhappy with but he really does reward the ones who have done well for him.

On the way back he began talking about this exquisite chocolate making company called Royce from Japan. 'One of the many fine things we lost in the apocalypse', he said.

Okay now why am I going on and on about him like I used to when I had just arrived? *facepalm*

This post was about the graduation and the new hashtag that has popped up.

#EARTHLING

Best part, my new blog address - https://earthlingpaige.blogspot.com/ was available so I changed it to that as well.

When I was going on and on about this to William, he wasn't impressed. Just showed me a meme. And then went off on a Will-talk about humanity's vanity and fallibility, lol.

Here it is, y'all.
Meme Credits: Meme Spirited




But then my silly-Billy totes killed my buzz by showing me this insane docu called 'Earthlings' about how we humans treat animals - lesser Earthlings. It was so heart-wrenching, I couldn't watch for long.

Even looking at the poster we found is too much now....

All I hear are the young rapper's words in my mind: Chuck, Roast, Brisket, or Hind, When yo mama serve em veggies, all I say is never mind! as I look at the poster. I'm even thinking about #GoingVegan

28 days ago: Uppity Cunt!

 

THAT UPPITY CUNTTTT!!!

WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!

Alright... I really need to calm down or I'm going to bust the keyboard here... sheesh...

So here's how it went down:

Councilman David had come in today to update the Chief Administrator on the street-art outreach program that the comply tags had turned into. And he brought with him Aiko, a GRADE-A BITCHHH!!!

Alright Paige, think positive and happy thoughts. *takes 10 deep breaths*

So, he'd brought a mutant along. This snotty Asian goth bitch who, get this, was acting like she was doing us all a freakin favour by breathing the same air as us.

Barely had they settled down in the conference room when I told them that William would be sitting in on the meet instead of the Chief Administrator since both he and No. 2 were away inspecting the newly installed CCTV systems in the tower stairwells and basements. That bitch turns to Councilman David and rolls her eyes even as I'm still talking.

Sweet Jesus, they themselves were late to begin with. Did she really expect the Chief Administrator to be hanging around while she was taking her time getting all gussied up?

And then she interrupted me as I was formally introducing my Billy with a rude - We can introduce ourselves, could you get us something to drink?

When I returned, she was talking about the music playing in the elevators. William, though, seemed to be eating of her hands.

Wagner? he asked her. And that BITCH corrected his pronunciation. Not Wagner (like wag-ner) but Wagner (Vaag-ner). If I wanted more paint from the administration to continue my totally pointless feel-good street-art program, I'd be a lot more humane. And I sure as hell wouldn't go out of my way to point out mistakes that don't matter. Like, who the hell even cares, man.

I'd have left the room after serving the beverages but I had to stick around and record the minutes of the meet. If I had any doubts about her negging working on William, they were cleared when he insisted on giving them a tour of the Administrative office and some of the terrarium. Like Hellooo!! I'm in the room man!!!

I snuck into William's cubicle while he was away. He's changed his password to an alpha-numeric combination of my name so I logged right in and looked up her file.

Turns out she's unemployed and Viktor, the older man she was shacking up with, died after getting his weekly antidote due to some chemical interaction.

And now I'm feeling a lil sad for her.

Anyway, here's an interesting Urban Dictionary entry I found xD

41 days ago: Asian Fixation

We celebrated William’s successful prosecution at Benihana today. It was good cos it felt normal again.

Sheesh!

We’ve been together barely a month and we already sound like a suburban couple with three kids and a dog, getting by from one date night to another.

He spoke a little of his family while the sushi-chef was doing the freak show. Being a product of the one-child policy, he said he envied me for having siblings. He makes everything sound so theoretical!!! But I’d be happy to switch places with him anytime. That way, you don’t have to share your parents or your stuff. And no one ever replaces you as the baby.

I guess the trial was still on his mind because he suddenly began speaking of the Chief Administrator’s brilliance in bringing in the thief’s sister to force a confession. JESUS!!! He called it Myoshu. Some sort of an inspired move in Go, which is some sort of Asian Chess. Must be a big deal, cos even the sushi-chef knew about it. And then they got into an argument about who invented the game, the Chinese or the Japanese. *facepalm*. Like it matters!

My silly Billy, he’s so full of the far-east stuff. I hope we Americans don’t sound like this to the rest of the world.

Just to get him to shut up about Big Chief, I told him I used to have a crush on that Douchebag Dandy, as he’d once called him. He reddened a little, ate his Sashimi in silence for a while and jokingly said that he now felt the same way.

I was like Whaaa? I tried telling Billy how it was SO not cool to bring in the defendant’s sister like that. It’s not like she did anything wrong. And what if the man was innocent? How was he going to explain it to her later on?

She reminded me so much of Tammy... all bossy like.

And then William totally tripped me up with a question―Would I feel the same way if I were Mrs Katzoff? Or her son? And then he went off on a rant about the weight of a crown, and precedents and what not. I don’t remember much else, I just tuned him out.

So yea, date-night didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.

But the sex was good.

Maybe I should wake him up for seconds.

50 days ago: Poop & Rubbers

The first few days after the Chief Administrator's snub were hard on William.

He was all mopey for a few days. Keeping to himself at work.
Not saying much to say to me either, even after-hours.

But then he finally got his groove back channelling all of his energies into the investigation. The process of elimination, my Billy called it.

Eliminating a list of perpetrators from over 4,500 to near 300. Then down to 60 and finally where they're at today - 3 prime suspects. The Chief Administrator was thrilled when the Chief of Security updated him in the weekly chief-of-staffs meeting, giving full credit to Billy.

That's how I found out myself - as I was taking down the minutes of the meet. It felt really good to see the Chief Administrator applaud my Billy's efforts.

Of course, the words - process of elimination, kept reminding me of my messed up poop situation now that I'm #OnThePill. But it's okay, I guess. I've been having more greens and that helps. And having Billy stay inside me long after we've cum is kinda hot.

The whole no-rubber thing is a lot more fun for Billy too. He lasts longer and takes things to a whole new level. Dang, I'm getting too hot and bothered by the way this post is turning out to be. Better get back to work because those voice-memos aren't going to transcribe themselves.

60 days ago: Stranger Than Fiction

The Chief Administrator’s doing his transcendental meditation right now, and Will’s taking the time to psych himself before his big presentation. Jeez! He’s been at it for nights.

Ever since he stumbled upon that picture of the ‘Comply’ graffiti on the Great Wall of China, he’s been obsessing, like, all over it. Sheesh! What a buzz-kill. But it’s trippy alright cos it appeared in a bunch of places in different parts of the world, and that too nearly three decades ago.

But last night things got way out of hand.

I woke up when I realized he wasn’t next to me and found him at his desk outside. Vaping as always and watching a video on ‘The Mandela Effect.’ So there’s this Hadron Collider McGuffin that speeds up atoms to rip through space and time and a bunch of sciencey shit I just didn’t get.

And then he began totally wigging out over a Facebook page for a book. Something to do with Carols and Reactors *facepalm*. He was totes tripping balls. Wait, am I repeating myself. He’s going viral and he’s infecting me as well but I just had to listen when he said that we might all be characters in a work of fiction.

My Christianity was put to the test so I kept my inner bitch in check and said nothing more than ‘You’re high af Will, come to bed.’

I guess the investigation is stressing him out. At this point, tho, I’d even be willing to try an exorcism.

Who am I kidding, it’s probably the MaryJane. I’ve got to get him to kick the habit.

But I’ll have to figure out a way to do that without him catching on.

*cues Wonder Woman Theme*

#GurlPower #GameOnBitches

68 days ago: #LAID!!!

William's lying next to me, fast asleep.

He came over today for dinner. We had some pasta and wine. And some of his high-quality weed. Hydroponically grown, he said, a mellow strain.

I'd tried it a couple of times back at Amityville with my ex but it used to get me more paranoid than buzzed. Billy said we must have been using skunk. That you should smoke nothing but the best. And with his job here, he could totes afford it.

When I asked him where he got it from, he laughed and said I wouldn't believe him even if he told me.

He's super finicky about his joints. Takes forever to crush and clean and roll. And he can't exactly roll so he carries a whole kit around. Glueing the paper around a pencil and then filling it up with weed. It takes a while but when he's done, it looks just like a machine made cigarette. Guess OCD comes with its own upside.

It really got me buzzed all good and soon enough we were making out. Like, big time. A regular boy scout he turned out to be - right in the middle of it all, he stopped and asked me if I was in my senses. If I knew what I was doing because he really didn't want to take advantage of me.

I answered simply by unzipping his fly. He popped his Trojans our right away. I was surprised to see the Magnum XLs but he said he was a little girthy and regular sized rubbers make him go limp after a while. Strange conversation to be having in the middle of all that heavy petting *facepalm* but we were at it like bunnies soon enough.

We smoked some more afterwards. Here's a picture he took of me.

It was only then that he realized how messy my place was and insisted that he help me organize my closet right away. The last thing I wanted to do then, after all that had just happened so I dragged him back to bed with the promise of a little treat.

Men are so easily led xD

76 days ago: Love Is An Open Door, But Don't Sue Me Disney

What a day it’s been… actually, what a fortnight...

So William went out there a few days after I did. And he got me a pretty plant from the zone. It really does brighten up the office and thankfully no one made a fuss.

No. 2 was all smiles and winks when he noticed it on my table. I guess he figured it out and he’s cool with it.

So yea, William said he loved the meatloaf and this was his way of thanking me for it.

When he noticed me watering the plant a few days later, he invited me over to his place for an authentic home cooked Chinese meal, and well, waiting around at the shopping zones in Tower Twelve isn’t as much fun as it used to be, so I said yes.

When I walked into his apartment today, I was hit by this weird earthy smell. William was quick to pop open the windows. HE HAS WINDOWSSSS!!! He said it was from the cooking. And I guess the second thing that struck me after a while was that he was like a totally different person.

He was talking a LOT, flipping from one thing to the next, laughing most of the time, and when he wasn’t laughing, he had this shit eating grin on his face.

The Moo Shu Pork was delish! And we had some blush wine as well.

The plan was to Netflix & Chill, but after looking around for a bit, we ended up watching some funny videos on YouTube. I guess all that wine made them funnier. And then he was like, ‘I’ll show you something if you promise to not tell anyone’.

The auto-tuned one of the Chief Administrator he made from CCTV footage was HILARIOUS!! He even got the pen-clicks and everything.

His YouTube channel has a whole bunch of videos. His projects, as he calls them.

It was probably the wine talking when I said ‘I’d love to be one of your projects.’ That’s when he leaned over and kissed me. He was tentative at first but grew bolder as we went along. The way he traced my lips with his tongue between kisses was just...

I’m glad he didn’t have protection, who knows how far we might have gone.

So yea, I’m still at his apartment. He wasn’t sure about when he’d return. I think I’ll leave him a message and get going.

#SelfAwareIdiot #AllShookUp

83 days ago: I Love Being Here With You

Mum's recipe for the bacon-wrapped-meatloaf stuffed with cheese totally slayed.

William kept going on and on about it after he was done in the pantry. When No. 2 overheard and asked for a taste, he just all-out lied and said he'd finished it all, lol! He'd asked me out already for an evening of indoor rock climbing just a few moments before, his treat, or I might have thrown him under the bus xD

So yea, I just got back from all that clambering and grunting and sweating, sheesh... It was quite a bitch. My body is aching so bad, I'm using voice-input to key this post in.

And dayumnnnnn!! That scrawny nerd sure can climb. It was only thanks to his encouragement that I even gave it a shot cos once we got there, I totes lost my nerve.

Afterwards, we grabbed a drink at a piano-bar. I guess the glass of wine went straight to my head, probably because of all that sweating. The jazz quartet at the bar sounded divine. When William saw me Shazamming one of their songs, he invited me over to his place for the next day of rest for some Netflix and Chill. And began researching my preferences there and then saying he wanted to be a good host.

Two dates back to back on two days of rest. Woohoo!

I wonder what he's planning though.

Maybe I'm getting my hopes up for no reason, and I shouldn't, but I can't get that song - I love being here with you - that the band was covering at the bar out of my head.

89 days ago: Objects In The Rear View Mirror

So I went to the Quarantine Zone today... this isn’t the best time to be writing this post, I know, but if I don’t write it now, I just might end up becoming as numb as the Chief Administrator. From his memos to that UN guy, you’d think all he sees there is output, yield, targets, numbers. What a freakin’ douche!

Being out there in the zone, seeing it for real, was something else. And the camp-site... I have no words. And I grew up in a trailer-park with no mother, a comatose father, a middle child.

And death rates? Wtf bro! The members of the mutant council were so chill about it. A whole lot more than I’d have been.

The journey back was even worse. There was this woman on the road, standing there with a baby in her arms, begging for credits. She said her baby’s weekly antidote was overdue and anything we could spare would help.

And to think the peacekeeper would’ve run her over had it not been for No. 2. I just couldn’t turn away and kept looking in the mirror until I couldn’t see her anymore.

Luckily for me, the shit had hit the fan when I got back. Dr DeChampeaux was on the verge of decking the Head Auditor. And from the look on his face, she was already done cussing him xD

God, I just love the way she stands up for herself.

Apart from getting the Chief Administrator’s schedule in line, there were a ton of his voice-memos to be transcribed as well. And I didn’t have the time to think about things until William came over.

He stopped by after the Chief Administrator took off for that felicitation thing with No. 2 and asked about my visit. I guess he’s a good listener because I kept going. And when I got to the part about the woman begging for her child, I was on the verge of tears.

He was trying to help, I guess, but each awkward sentence that came out of his mouth only made it worse. And then he tried to show me some lolcats on YouTube. I was like―Dude, that baby could be dead by now and you’re showing me cat videos!?

He sat there quietly for a while, and then said this:

“How do you get a dead baby in a blender?
Feet first of course.
How do you get it out?
With tortilla chips...”

I was like Whaaaa? But when I saw him smile, I realized I was smiling too. And then we both had a wicked laugh as we looked up ‘Dead Baby’ memes. It’s messed up af, I know, but I guess that’s one way of dealing with a world gone to shit.

He has this really weird sense of humour but  I guess he’s sweet in his own way. He read my file, he stayed thru all my drama, he even made me laugh. Somebody has a thing for you, gurl...

Ok, so it just hit me. He read my file! So he must have seen my ‘official’ photo as well.

#BadLighting #BadHairDay #NoFilter

Aaaargghh!!!

Hmm... I think I’ll bring some meatloaf for him. All I ever see him eating is cup noodles at his desk. 

97 days ago: Coffee-Meme-Stalk

It’s amazing how much they do with the regulation gabardine over at Zara. I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can save up enough credits to buy something outside the UN templates, something designer. But there’s no charge for trying stuff on and taking selfies, amirite? In the good ole days we had a return policy as well. But whatevs!

As I was leaving the store, I thought I saw someone familiar. When I called out, he began rushing away and ended up on the floor under a pile of their new arrivals xD

He was the last person I’d expect to see there and seeing him squirm, I was all aww in my head, so I asked if he’d like to get a cup of coffee. I got into work mode, I guess, and asked what I could bring him. But he insisted on doing the courteous gent thing. This time I Awwed Out Loud. *blushes and runs away*

The n00b really likes green tea *facepalm*

When I asked him what he did off work, William went on some ‘rate of diffusion for a concept’ trip; I should Google that or whatever. After giving me like a 15-minute speech on memes (duh!) full of ginormous words like ‘freedom of speech,’ ‘social commentary’ and ‘collective something,’ he asked if I understood.

And when I went, ‘yea, you write jokes’, he turned as red as my blush lipstick. Not just on his cheeks. But all over and that’s when I knew he’d totes lost it.

I didn’t mean to kill his buzz or whatever but it took forever for him to calm down. It was good to see a glimpse of the real him tho. And all this while I thought he was an Android. Poor thing, I’ve seen him hovering around the cafeteria. It’s like he’s a little puppy, figuring out how to talk, walk, and blend in. He doesn’t realize how transparent he is xD!

And yea, I didn’t bump into the Big Chief today either. Another 4 hours at Tower Twelve wasted. I wonder what he does with himself on his days off.

103 days ago: Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End

So I got an email from Tammy today… Not that I don’t appreciate all she did for Caleb and me, but she really gots to get some of that bitterness out of her system, or get laid! xD

And I get it, mum died when we were young, pops went into a beer-soaked coma in front of the TV. Guess she can’t deal with me doing so well without her. And now Caleb’s signed on for peacekeeper training as well. Maybe she’ll get it when pops’ liver cirrhosis finally does him in.

The bitch still be tripping me with the ‘You abandoned us’ shit, but what else was I to do? There’s only so much Long-Island-Pie you can stuff down your throat going thru the texting your ex Jason Mraz lyrics phase before you realize you gotta move on gurl. Hate on me all you like. What I got, I paid for.

Big change though, from a trailer park in North Amityville to this place. I still remember my first day here. Big Chief set aside an hour just to orient me. And even that wasn’t enough. *facepalm*.

Me when I found out I got the job at Eden (925) 

The man is a freakin’ machine!!! xD He’s in the office from 7 to 7 everyday, taking one meeting after another. And he crams in squash, a swim, a 15 minute power-nap and transcendental meditation as well. Whatever that is.

Keeping up with him is cray, but guess I’m doing ok now. Taking dictation, transcribing his voice memos, bringing him tea, manning the desk—that’s cake. What stresses me out is staying on top of his schedule. He has a to-do list that he runs in parallel and he changes it around at least twice a day. Sometimes I think he does it just to mess with me.

Yea right… I wish…

As he started off with me on Day One, I was like, Ze OR Hir, bitches!! That clear skin, the lean frame, but then I realized he was very polite. And British. Still doesn’t rule out Ze & Hir though.

And of course he’s British! That accent, the vocabulary… Taking down his first memo, I was like whoa, whoa, whoa… Thank the internet for autocorrect, or I’d spend half my time looking those words up. And that guy at the UN, he must be super important considering how often Big Chief writes to him.

I guess he has to. So much backstabbing and shit going on below the surface here. But I mean c’mon, we’re UN volunteers ffs! And the things I’ve overheard in the cafeteria. The meanest one was about how the clicky pen is, like, his pacifier. So what if he’s a little high-handed? If only those tools got over themselves, looked through the hard smile and caught just a glimpse of the pain in his resting bitch face. Sheesh! I sound so lame; I’ll stop here, cos I’m crushin on him hard enough as it is.

#TruthHurts #LoveHurts #FineLinesBetweenTruthAndHurt #FineBalance #CestLaFrance #CestLaVie #CestSiBon